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Surely this cannot be it?

Surely I must own a house by the time I turn thirty.

Surely I cannot live on my current earnings for the rest of my life.

Surely this can’t be how married life turns out to be.

Surely it won’t be expected from me to work with these idiots for the rest of my life.

Surely life can’t only be about raising kids, paying taxes and fixing a dilapidated house.

Surely I can’t be single for the rest of my life.

Surely there must be more.

More to the life that I am living right now.

I heard of a fifty-year-old man who was lying on his death bed and in a moment of fury raised his fist towards heaven and shouted: “But I haven’t lived yet!” A silent whisper answered him from within; “Yes, you missed the whole damn thing.”

Your separate self, in a desperate need to make something out of you, will always point you in the direction of big things waiting in the future. It will hijack your human side, the personality and the ego-version of it.

This will keep you out of touch with the vastness, openness, and stillness in the centre of your being. The separate self will always demand that you focus on things in the future or the negative in the present. It will enter your thoughts as a very serious, angry, hurried and loud message convincing you that you will never have a meaningful, prosperous, joyful life without something. Something you don’t have.

Happiness is when…

  • you are stinking rich.
  • married to a greek god or goddess who adores everything about you.
  • you are the leader and in control.
  • you have the dream house, car or job.
  • you are the parent of children who showcase the best academically, socially and on the sports field.
  • you are never single.
  • you can do what you want when you want and in the way, you want to.

The list is never-ending and forever-shifting.

Am I, therefore, hinting that one must simply hover over daily life with the still, unconditioned, unseen parts of our being without any goals or dreams?  Absolutely not!

Set your goals.

Dream your dreams.

Move confidently in the direction of reaching your goals and living your dreams.

Just don’t take them too seriously.

They are not the destination that will save you from a dreadful existence filled with boredom, obstacles, challenges, and perceived lack (a judgement made purely by your conditioned separated self). They are not the end of your tunnel. They are just another part of it.

I am currently working with a group of professors, admin staff and lecturers from NMU. What a special group of people and what a privilege to be in conversation with them. From the first invitation to present my 4-session course with the group, I realised that this was a big deal for me.  I am particularly fond of doing group work and very aware that many of my gifts function while doing it. It’s one of the things on my dream list and I have worked confidently towards achieving this.

In the past, my entire world would revolve around special events like this. What I have learned over the past few years shaped me and taught me to enjoy the moment but not to prioritise it as if it was more important than any of the other seemingly insignificant small moments in my life. All the small moments leading up to bigger ones are equally important.

The present moment is loaded with what I need.

If it feels as if you haven’t lived yet then it might be because you ignore the aliveness that surrounds you your entire life.

I enjoy all the nitty-gritty moments in the process of raising my three children. I enjoy doing the week’s ironing on a Friday night while watching a favourite series. I enjoy standing in front of a group of people. I also enjoy the stillness that arises within and opens up space inside of me when I quietly sit and gaze at the flowers in my garden. This space is like the wide-open heavens. It is unconditioned, without any labels, negativity or stories about anything or anyone. It simply is. To be in touch and in alignment with this aliveness within while walking the earth is what it is all about.

Whether or not anybody hires me to do group work won’t really make my life less fulfilling. The more moments (good or bad) I embody and accept with my full attention (without adding negativity, labels, and stories) and presence the more alive I feel.

Don’t miss the whole damn thing. There are only a handful of big moments in one’s life.  The rest are all magical, seemingly insignificant, moments with the ability to ignite the life (and life in abundance) in you.

At the end of it all, you will feel a readiness to leave your form precisely because you lived fully in many small moments.